Scared, fearful, frightened
Friday, October 28, 2011 at 9:43 PM
Today I had a really bad day in school.
I did really really badly for OP, and it was really disappointing because I thought I would do fine (not very good, but at least manageable). Who knew I screwed it up so badly. Though Ms Ng didn't openly criticized me and tried to put it in a nice way, I know that what she really meant is that I failed every category of OP. Obviously, the grading slip were ticks with all AE on it.
And perhaps I did so badly she forgot to ask me Q&A question.
I feel like i'm such a failure. Why can't I just be brave enough to face people and talk loudly to them?
Oh ya, and I feel really so stressed. I have been repressing and repressing all these myself. Because the people around me are all stressed, I can't possibly leave them there and tell them I'm actually facing the same or more stress than them.
Not to mention I must finish editing OP slides + script as well as I&R by tomorrow.
Had a very bad headache after such a bad day. Fell asleep during the journey home on the bus. When I went home, I totally collapsed on my bed because I was so tired. Then I realized I can't sleep well at all because of the headache, but I slept an uneasy sleep for a short while though.
When I woke up, my headache got worse. And not only that, I felt really so unwell.
It's just so abnormally unwell. I felt my pulse and my heart was beating so quickly. Really really so quickly. I tried to force myself up but I felt so weak and giddy. In the end I still woke up, but I felt so sick.
It's my first time like that and I have absolutely no idea why I have been feeling so sick these few days. I don't even feel like going out to shopping or whatsoever (which is abnormally if you think about it) because I know I can't walk long distance like before. I used to enjoy long shopping trips but now I know I will feel unwell just walking for a short while. I can even feel unwell just after eating.
I really don't know what is wrong with me.
I feel really so scared.
And guess what people would say if I tell them?
